Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
