Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
