i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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