i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
