even my farts smell like vagina
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize