I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize