but the lizard people decide everything anyway
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
