some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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