first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
