Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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