Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
