Having a random hookup so left but love u
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
