do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize