Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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