i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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