I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
