Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
