white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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