He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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