HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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