In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
