Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize