Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
