yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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