Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
