It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize