I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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