Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
