How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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