we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize