it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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