What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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