So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Everything about him screamed your future.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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