Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize