I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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