Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
