I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
