If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
