Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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