whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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