Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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