Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
