Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
