Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
