i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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