I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Im part way to drunk.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
