and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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