I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
