Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize