dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
