found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
