Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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