and you said cock pushups were impossible
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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