remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
