I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
