aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just pee around me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
